Sorry, Your application to be a cool Kid has been declined.

I remember my 12 year old self, skinny, boyish looking awkward limbed geek, who was the target for all class jokes, and the popular boys’ “go to” When the pretty girls were too busy to be popular with them. I remember one occasion where against my better judgment (I was always a logical and smart being) I was forced to take part in a game of “who has the best”. Who has the best hair, who has the best smile, who’s the prettiest bla bla . Needless to say, I came last in every category, even the ones that I deserved to win, (Who was the smartest) I went home and cried that day, all I wanted was to be pretty, to be noticed, to be accepted.

When you start school, you are fed all kinds of propaganda that you are going to make new friends, that everybody will like you, and that it’s going to be better than nursery school. What they don’t tell you is that when nobody wants to kiss you in kissing catches- You’re fucked.

To this day, I still don’t understand this hierarchy of popularity, How is it that all the mean people become the popular people, how is that all the academically challenged people, were praised every day for being the cool cats,  while the rest of us friendly, kind and very likable beings, were exiled from planet coolness? I guess Einstein was right, great minds often encounter violent opposition from mediocre beings.

I spent most of my primary school career, hoping that I’d wake up one morning and I’d pretty, that The *Harry smiths of this world would invite me to their parties and fall in love with me, so that I could turn around and tell the *Sarah Jessica parkers that they should have been a little nicer to me. I quickly realised though, that I wasn’t cut out for that. The penny dropped one fateful night when I went to the movies with some “friends”, while they laughed, and went on and on about the cute boys that called them last night, i found myself in surreal moment thinking, WTF. I Don’t like these girls, Hell, I DON’T EVEN LIKE GOING TO THE MOVIES and at that very moment, I decided I was done trying to force my way into social circles and all at once, I became popular  (wam bam thank you maám.)

I went from being the number one teasing target, to the number one geek. Suddenly everyone wanted to be friends with me and behold I had TWO, not one, but TWO boys in love with me. I don’t know how it happened, but it did. My fairy God mother finally came through for me. 6 years late…but hey, better late than never right?

Come to think of it, she wasn’t late. It was perfect timing, because, everything that I wasn’t, has made me all that I am.

Right now, I am 20 years old, I am no longer anorexic and dying (Yes, I was that skinny)I am still a Geek of life and I’m working on accepting the fact that I always will be. As hard as I may try, I will never be up in the club, in the VIP Section, I will never be miss universe, but you know what?

that’s just fine. Because while everybody else in the world is sipping on champagne and squishing themselves into dresses way too small for them, somebody has to run the world right?? Right.

See, what the popular girls and Boys don’t realise is that, by shutting us out, they make us more determined to start a new geek order. Even so, we are nice people, we will not treat them the way they treated us. I am still very friendly to all the people that made my life a living a hell, and I do not remind them how they treated me, when they tell me that I’m hot.

Which is quite humble of me, because I should actually respond by saying “Look at me now, im fresher than a ma’phuqa” But no, that’s not me.

Pssht, who am I kidding?? My blog.  My rules. *Clears throat*

To all those horrible people that made  my life a living hell  you are awful people, U don’t deserve to have any friends, I pray to God that u remain pretty, because other than that you have nothing else going for you.  This ugly duckling has hit swan time, I have amazing friends and I am happy! Soon, I’m going to run this world and you will probably have to work for me, also when you are old, ugly and lonely, I hope u stumble upon this blog, so u can see, how a blog became more popular than you. Ps. Jokes are meant to be funny, not make people cry! Putting me in the bin was NOT funny!! I hate you. That is all.

So, here’s a piece for all the girls who are hated on for being smart, friendly, ambitious and beautiful in a different way. For all the girls who’s crushes never give them the time of day (Don’t worry they will probably get herpes and die, its only fair) For the girls who don’t want to be up in the club with the Mc Daddies breathing in syphilis, for the curious girls, who fit better in their own skin, than in size 0’s, remember pretty on the outside, doesn’t always mean pretty on the inside! Also, Geeks rule the world- Have you seen how many cool cats are trying to dress like us?? Looking smart and being smart are not quite the same thing, but that isn’t something we have to worry about!


2 thoughts on “Sorry, Your application to be a cool Kid has been declined.

  1. LMAO!!!! I loved all your blogs thus far but this one made me laugh the LOUDEST and smile the WIDEST! Probably because I can relate. You’re brilliant girl, keep it up 🙂

  2. One would think that since you have been skinny and didn’t like, you wouldn’t be trying to starve yourself into skinnyness again *rolling eyes*

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